Sugar n' Spice

Haggardness vs. Optimism

    Yup! I feel haggard almost everyday... I'm not complaining. it has been a part of my existence. With my line of work, haggardness is a very normal experience. I have to deal with almost a hundred kids everyday..Patience is very important, if you don't have it then you should start looking for another job... Whenever I feel like quitting, I always look on the brighter side. I appreciate all the small things around me..even a simple hi and hello from a student can make me smile and be more positive.. I want to enjoy every moment of teaching, with all its complexities and hardships.. I realized that being positive in life can make a big difference. It can make you do ordinary things in an extraordinary way... Learn to embrace the pain that life may bring, remember that after the rain comes the rainbow...

Living with Choices

    They say that life is all about choices.. The course of your life depends upon the choices you've made in the past. Once you've made your choice, there's no turning back, you just have to live with the consequences.. Scary..right? What if we made the wrong choice? Are we going to suffer forever?
    Whenever I'm faced with a dilemma, I am always a sigurista..meaning, I always choose the safest option, the one that would require less changes in my life..I'm not a risk-taker either..I always stay within my comfort zones. Because of this, I see my life as a stagnant pool. I have less opportunities to explore my hidden potentials. I was often afraid of stepping out of my shell, scared that I might disappoint myself...     But all of these things changed when I decided to build a stronger relationship with God.. He opened my eyes to appreciate everything around me, that life is too precious to be wasted upon less important things.. He taught me how to set my priorities in life. Giving up things that would make me come out of my comfort zones. Giving up relationships that would hurt me and my loved ones... Before I surrendered everything, I tried to bargain with God.. In other words I was stubborn.. I ignored everything that He was telling me... but what can I do? God is God. Eventually, I obeyed, and I think it's one of the most painful experiences in my life...  It's hard and painful but ironically, I felt at peace with myself.. I know that God knows what I needed the most in my life.. God is faithful with His promises and He will never harm me. I guess it's going to take a long process before  I get over my sadness, but I'm getting there...
   

Down the Drain

    May 17, 2007, i felt that all my plans for this year have come to nothing. Since January 2007, i've been planning those things that i'm going to do this year for self-growth. I prayed so hard that God would give me this chance to prove myself that i can always do better...i guess, we can't have everything we want in life...one of my biggest plans went down the drain,poof! just like that...the rest of my plans seem to fade as well. i started doubting god's plan for my future..He knows how much i want it, that i've been expecting it to happen this year..(i decided not to explain more about the "plans" because it's complicated and personal) i've shared this disappointment to some of my close friends and one of them made everything easier for me. she told me not to make other people's opinion of me become my reality. i pondered on what she said and i realized a lot of things, that i know myself better and if god has faith in me, then no one, not even myself can bring me down. sometimes people live their lives based on other people's expectations that's why they often fail. we are afraid to accept our failures because people might judge us differently...i've been in that situation and i know how hard it is. i was even tempted to change the facts and pretend that everything is okay. but we can't run from reality, i let the pain and disappointment run thru my system. i locked myself in my room and cried so hard..i prayed to God. i know that god's plan for me is to prosper me and not to harm me,he wants me to have hope and a better future..right now, what keeps me going is god's promise of prosperity. i know everything happens for a reason. god knows the perfect time for everything..He knows what i need better than i do... "I know O Lord, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps." - Jeremiah 10:23

My Very First

This is my very first entry in my blog...i really have no plans of making one tonight but since i don't have anything else to do and my brother's not at home to use the computer,i could browse longer and start updating my blog..i really don't have any idea what to talk about.i just felt like i need to start making my entries because some people may wonder why i have my blog but i don't have any entries at all...actually i really don't have any plans of making a blog but my sister encouraged me to make one.i asked her "What for?" i already have my own journal and i really don't want to get pissed with super slow internet connections.(FYI:we're using DSL at home so i'm not pissed as i was doing this entry) And i also read in the newspaper that some companies are checking their applicant's blog entries before they hire him/her.i don't know if those stories were true but that news made me think twice..so it took me some time before i decided to make my blog..what convinced me? first, i don't want to feel like i'm living in the past.I must admit that as a teacher i need to continuously learn and update myself with the current trends.second, i want to share my thoughts and experiences to everyone.i might inspire and encourage other people with my stories..last, i want to start something new..it may sound funny but this (Blog) is something new for me. it feels good being able to make my very first entry in my blog..at last! i could relate with everyone,hehe! "Hindi nako napag-iiwanan ng panahon..."